Like a fat kid and cake...

There's something you should know about me. I have an inability to back down from a dare. Well, any dare that isn't life-threatening/outright illegal. Allow me to demonstrate. We have this restaurant in Sac (ish) that's a favorite around the office. Claim Jumper. Claim Jumper is "famous" for its huge servings of everything. Huge. So after we eat our ginormous lunches, me and a few other brave souls decide we want dessert. But I don't want just any desert. I want the Chocolate Motherlode, their 6 layer chocolate cake. Yeah, this shit is huge. And they don't just give you a dainty slice, they cut you a wedge. Yeah. So my fellow tablemates look at me like I'm Kathy Bates ala Misery. One of them says, "Kay, there's no way you're going to be able to eat that." And I'm a dumbass, so I say "Is that a dare?" And Jefe steps up and says, "If you DO eat that, I'll buy your lunch tomorrow, but there's no way you can." Another person offers up $5 if I can do it in 2 hours. I'm sitting here thinking, "Oh hell yeah, not only am I going to get free lunch tomorrow, but I'm also gettin 5 bucks out of this deal."
Yeah, so I get it to go, cuz there's no way we can get away with stayin at the restaurant for another 2 hours.
Once we get back to the office I'm having second thoughts. My stomach's still quite full from my monserous lunch. But the challenge had already been accepted, there was no backing down now. So at 3:21 PM Pacific time, IT begins. To start off I'm making pretty good progress. It's not too bad (and I'm not much of a cake fan). The first two layers disappear in 14 minutes. Then I had to search out some water, because I was noticing this thing was kind of dry on the thick part of the wedge. Water in hand, I plowed into layer 3. This is when I started slowing considerably. When I got to the thickest part of the slice (where the back's got ALL that frosting), I abandoned it for layer 4. I'm just crawling at this point. Bite of cake, a few swigs of water. It's not that my stomach's full. It's just too damn much chocolate. This THING has a rich chocolate cake, with richer chocolate frosting, with gobs of it between each layer, and to top it off, it's got chocolate chips mixed into it. TOO MUCH. Much too much. 45 minutes after the insanity began, I raised up my white flag of shame and surrendered. This girl could not do it. I couldn't man up.
But I don't think any human can. I really don't. It's just too much chocolate.