I am a vast array of contradictions

I am easily amused. It doesn't take much to entertain me. I get excited by new shopping purchases. My most recent purchases (and thus my newest joy inducing toys):

Beefy new tires for my truck.

Cute little reindeer antlers for Lolo to wear when she sits on Santa's lap for her Christmas photo. (Shut it Barbie. Right now, before you even start)

Two new pairs of Adidas I got while Black Friday shopping with Lil Bro.

The awesome new recumbent exercise bike that is waiting to be assembled in my living room.

And the new makeup I ordered from Avon, upon finding the catalog on my mother's kitchen counter.

Which brings me to the real point of this post. I ordered two mascaras, one eye liner, and some mixed thing of eye shadow. I may not know much about makeup, but I do like to play. And part of that playing is my late night dressup/hairstyling/makeup experimentation. I believe Diablo Cody said it best (via Juno McGuff), "There's nothin' like experimentin,'" right kids?

This Avon order was delivered to me a few days ago, but because I was deathly ill all weekend, I have just now remembered it and decided to bring it out to play. I'll admit that Avon has a bit of a tough sell headed its way in convincing me to be a fan, since I'm completely in love with Urban Decay's mascara and eye liner, but I am completely willing to try new things. Once or twice.

I'll admit to having an oddly curious fascination with Avon, my grandmother sold it all of my life. The siblings and I were always so excited to go to Grandma B's and see what new things she had. So when I saw that Avon catalog sitting on my Mother's counter, I couldn't help but open it up to see what was inside. Being new to the world of makeup, I figured it would be almost irresponsible of me to pass up a sale and with it the cheapened opportunity to explore a new brand.

First on the play list was AVON's Daring Definition Mousse Mascara. Old school style brush/wand. Black color. Nothing remarkable. It didn't cause any clumping, but that may be because it's a new bottle. It reminded me a bit of Maybelline's Stiletto Mascara, if Stiletto didn't cause wicked clumping. Downside, it does absolutely nothing for curl. At least Stiletto gave my lashes a bit of a curl. I'm beginning to see the point of lash curlers.

Let's take a little detour for a moment here. Do you remember back in '03, when AVON started that marketing campaign where they tried to rename their makeup line Mark? In an effort to attract the under 60 crowd, they went on and on about how you needed to "Meet Mark," with all of their glamorous models walking around asking each other "Have you met Mark?" Cheesy as hell, but apparently it worked, since the Mark line is still around.

Next in the rotation was Feeling Fine Ultra Thin Eye Liner. I was pretty excited about this because I love eye liner. The right eye liner can work miracles. An ultra thin eye liner has potential. Off comes the cap, and I see that there is some sort of inner cap still stuck on. I put the cap back on and pull it off a few times, trying to dislodge it. No love. Since my grip is weaker than a limp fish's (Thank you Fibro), I bite the inner lid and try to pull it off. Then I realize that perhaps it's not meant to come off. Instead it twist it left and right until I see that it works like lipstick, except there seems to be no going back once you've gotten it out of the tube. Odd, but I'll go with it. Looking at the eye liner in disbelief I catch myself off guard when I say aloud, "You were in my mouth." And then I giggle, because Lolo has just looked at me as if I'm slightly dense. Undeterred, I start on my top right lid, and the tip breaks off. Now that I know how this little beast works, I twist it and return to my top right lid. Again the tip breaks off. Hmmmm. Apparently it's a bit of a science to get enough out to use without breaking off the tip. I twist just a tiny bit and decide to attempt the lower right lid instead. After stabbing myself in the eye twice, I manage manage to get the job done. I twist out a little more of the (stick/pencil/stuff) and go back to the upper lid. And the tip breaks off. Three Strikes and you're a failure.


Dear "Mark,"

What the hell man? How about some effing instructions?

You're done,
California Kay

I don't do sick very well

I get bored easily, and when I'm sick I'm usually too tired to invent new ways to amuse myself. And yes, the internet is a fun, entertaining thing, but even that gets old after a few hours. At this point I usually turn to movies. But you can only rewatch a movie so many times. So I turn to my fellow humans for entertainment. But since I've got this lovely mouth-breathing raspy thing going on, the phone is not ideal. And apparently the family feels "We love you honey, but if you're sick you need to stay in your own house." Because whoever gave me these germs so kindly stuck to that little rule...

I'm bored and frustrated with my sickness. It has left me bouncing between hot and cold like a ping pong ball bounces between Beer Pong teams in a Frat House. I'm super exhausted. I'm torn between hunger and nausea. I feel like I'm wasting a perfectly good weekend, not to mention a rare opportunity to see Little Bro. And I'm very, very bored.

< /end pity party>

I can has Benadryl?

I went to see Kelly Clarkson Tuesday night with Barbie. It was epic, I'm working on that post.

Woke up Wednesday with a mysteriously sore throat, and no recollection of screaming like a 12 year old girl all night.

Kicked it with lil bro Wednesday night, throat still behaving oddly.

Slept nice and late Thursday, and awoke to a slight twinge in my left ear.

Spent an odd Thanksgiving with the family. Remembered why I've had other plans for Thanksgiving for the last 5 years.

Got conned into going Midnight Black Friday shopping with lil bro, instead of at a nice normal hour, like 4 or 5 AM.

Bought two more pairs of Adidas!!! Have no idea where I shall put them when they are not on my feet.

Had to park way out in BFE and walk 8000 miles to the stores, while whining about my lungs and the cold and how the two do not get along.

Went on a donut seeking adventure with lil bro, only to strike out repeatedly.

Was home and back to bed by 4AM.

Woke up again. Immediate thought upon waking "What the hell is wrong with my ears?" And then I realized the rest of my head hurt too.

I have pressure and pain. I think it's just a nasty cold, but we've also got some wicked awesome nausea going on. Yay me! I have located my stash of "I'm sick" meds, and am playing doctor to myself, while sleeping and drinking enormous amounts of liquid. Lolo is unsympathetic to my plight, but that's nothing new.

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Please send meds, but for the love of Jeebus, no soup!