These songs sum up everything I'm feeling right now:
The Florida Sessions (Demos) 021612: Birdsong
The Florida Sessions (Demos) 021412: The Blank Canvas
I've been living inside my head a lot lately. Some of it as I try to remember facts and details to put together stories. Some of it as I try to reevaluate and figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. I'll be 27 soon and I never thought this is where I'd be. I've always looked forward to my late 20s. I was supposed to have my shit together by now.
I'm flailing. I am rethinking everything. I've made so many mistakes and I'm starting to wonder if moving to California was one of them. I needed to move. And I do love it here. But everyone I once knew has moved on. Everything I used to know has changed. I know that I need to go out and make new memories and establish a new normal, but every single time I do I get sick for a week or two or three and end up right back where I started.
I have never failed at anything as epicly as I have the past few months. I am in a downward spiral of fail and while I've never felt as free as I do when I contemplate rebuilding, I've never felt as paralyzed by fear either.
Today I'm torn between climbing further into my head and getting out and walking my dog and cleaning the house (I've been sick for two weeks. It needs love) and completely avoiding all the things inside my head.
I feel the need to make some major changes. To cut some people from my world and reconnect with others. To get rid of everything and start over. And even the need to move again. But for now, I'll go walk because that seems to be what Lolo wants the most. At least she knows what to do.
Showing posts with label Gardening Not Architecture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gardening Not Architecture. Show all posts
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
PMS Update: Music and TV You Need
TMI? Yup. But you're a big kid. You can deal with it.
I'm a tired, painy, bitchy hot mess today. I have a ridiculous headache, in a fun new location than where it's been for the last two weeks with my herpes. My brain's going all dyslexic, which is a a fun new type of typo, but I am here. And blogging. And researching the things I say so I'm not just lying to you. Because I love you. And I have new discoveries to share. Because Sharing is Caring. *Care Bear Stare*
New for your ears:The Sacramento music scene is an interesting animal. Definitely different than Seattle's music scene, not that I am claiming to be anything but a casual observer of either.
Back in 2009, right before I left Sacramento, I had the pleasure of dragging some friends out to see The Donnas at Marilyn's on K. They had 2 other bands opening: an all-girl act by the name of Aroarah that I had been wanting to see and a band I was unfamiliar with named Triple Cobra. My buddy Crossbow may have been a little butthurt that the bands drank all the Jack in the place, but she soon got over it. The four of us drank too much, a couple of us relentlessly flirted with and/or hit on some band members, someone put In-n-Out stickers all over the rear window of my vehicle, and I woke up with a bitchin' hangover. It was a fabulous night that I would do all over again. My friends ended up liking Triple Cobra best, but I suspect that had more to do with their crazy stage getup and the game of what-are-they we played about the lead singer. (I checked their Facebook, Myspace and band website and the only music I can find for you is on their SoundCloud. Way to make me work for it.)
Sadly, Aroarah seems to have broken up. But from that breakup I've luckily discovered two new Sac bands that former Aroarah members have formed/joined up with: F1rst Class Citizen and Playboy School.
F1rst Class Citizen categorizes itself as Sex Rock, which is new to me, thus I am instantly curious. I recommend having a listen to their songs "Naked and Famou$" and "Leech," because they make me want to put them on an endless loop. Bonus: you can download a copy of "Naked and Famou$ on their Facebook page. I strongly advise you to do this.
Playboy School is a Rock/Electronic/Indie duo, a genre I already have a love affair with. Their Facebook page offers only the song "Salvation," which I have a rather solid crush on. Their ReverbNation page offers up 4 videos, but the audio's not amazing. I'm assuming they sound better live, but until I can catch them somewhere, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for an EP.
And hopefully you've already been following along with Gardening, Not Architecture's newest project: The Florida Sessions. She's posting a new song every day for 2 weeks. Sign up for her newsletter and you get a copy of the project dropped right in your inbox when she's done. My favorites so far (that I have listened to again and again) are My First Love, Cities, and Bird's-Eye View. But I really like to just hit play on the top song and let them all cycle through. What are you waiting for?
New for your ADD (New TV): My buddy Alice turned me on to the awesomeness that is the British tv show Misfits. After 5 straight hours I had a slightly British accent I couldn't get rid of, so you might want to break it up a bit. There have already been 3 seasons, so you can have yourself a lovely little marathon on either your computer or one of those swanky internet tvs (I use a sweet little Sony box that makes my normal flat-screen into a faux internet tv.) If you're a Hulu-er, you can catch all 21 episodes here. Or, what's that? I did all the work for you and found that all of the episodes are available on E4's website? It doesn't seem to have an American pickup yet, but there's always hope. Sexy, sexy accents. Watch this show.
And you might want to program your DVR to record a new ABC show on 11 April: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23. You have to give a show a chance when it has Bitch in the title, even if they do have to censor it because we live in prudey America. Plus it looks like a hilarious roomie from hell situation, a mashup of 2 Broke Girls and New Girl.
I'm also in love with Lost Girl, the Canadian supernatural crime drama that's now on SyFy. It revolves around Bo, a succubus who feeds off of sexual energy, and her human sidekick Kenzi. The show follows our hero (and her trusty sidekick) on her quest to unlock the secrets of the mysterious Fae world. Think Grimm meets Once Upon a Time. If you miss my snarky, slightly douchey, always hilarious comments in your life, you'll love Kenzi. And there's plenty of gratuitous sex scenes if you're into that sort of thing. If not, look away/close your eyes, they'll be over soon. Canadians can catch full episodes on Showcase's website. Americans are a little bit hosed, since Youtube deletes links to copyrighted material. Hulu doesn't have rights to it, though Netflix appears to. Syfy doesn't stream full episodes online (probably because it's not a Syfy original?) It's a good show. You'll just have to trust me for now, since there don't appear to be any legal, free ways of viewing the show online at this time.
Remember Kaylena's rule of new TV shows, always give it 3 episodes for the writers and actors to really find their groove. Don't worry, you can tell me how much you love me in either the comments or via email (californiakay at gmail.com) or twitter.
I'm a tired, painy, bitchy hot mess today. I have a ridiculous headache, in a fun new location than where it's been for the last two weeks with my herpes. My brain's going all dyslexic, which is a a fun new type of typo, but I am here. And blogging. And researching the things I say so I'm not just lying to you. Because I love you. And I have new discoveries to share. Because Sharing is Caring. *Care Bear Stare*
New for your ears:The Sacramento music scene is an interesting animal. Definitely different than Seattle's music scene, not that I am claiming to be anything but a casual observer of either.
Back in 2009, right before I left Sacramento, I had the pleasure of dragging some friends out to see The Donnas at Marilyn's on K. They had 2 other bands opening: an all-girl act by the name of Aroarah that I had been wanting to see and a band I was unfamiliar with named Triple Cobra. My buddy Crossbow may have been a little butthurt that the bands drank all the Jack in the place, but she soon got over it. The four of us drank too much, a couple of us relentlessly flirted with and/or hit on some band members, someone put In-n-Out stickers all over the rear window of my vehicle, and I woke up with a bitchin' hangover. It was a fabulous night that I would do all over again. My friends ended up liking Triple Cobra best, but I suspect that had more to do with their crazy stage getup and the game of what-are-they we played about the lead singer. (I checked their Facebook, Myspace and band website and the only music I can find for you is on their SoundCloud. Way to make me work for it.)
Sadly, Aroarah seems to have broken up. But from that breakup I've luckily discovered two new Sac bands that former Aroarah members have formed/joined up with: F1rst Class Citizen and Playboy School.
F1rst Class Citizen categorizes itself as Sex Rock, which is new to me, thus I am instantly curious. I recommend having a listen to their songs "Naked and Famou$" and "Leech," because they make me want to put them on an endless loop. Bonus: you can download a copy of "Naked and Famou$ on their Facebook page. I strongly advise you to do this.
Playboy School is a Rock/Electronic/Indie duo, a genre I already have a love affair with. Their Facebook page offers only the song "Salvation," which I have a rather solid crush on. Their ReverbNation page offers up 4 videos, but the audio's not amazing. I'm assuming they sound better live, but until I can catch them somewhere, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for an EP.
And hopefully you've already been following along with Gardening, Not Architecture's newest project: The Florida Sessions. She's posting a new song every day for 2 weeks. Sign up for her newsletter and you get a copy of the project dropped right in your inbox when she's done. My favorites so far (that I have listened to again and again) are My First Love, Cities, and Bird's-Eye View. But I really like to just hit play on the top song and let them all cycle through. What are you waiting for?
New for your ADD (New TV): My buddy Alice turned me on to the awesomeness that is the British tv show Misfits. After 5 straight hours I had a slightly British accent I couldn't get rid of, so you might want to break it up a bit. There have already been 3 seasons, so you can have yourself a lovely little marathon on either your computer or one of those swanky internet tvs (I use a sweet little Sony box that makes my normal flat-screen into a faux internet tv.) If you're a Hulu-er, you can catch all 21 episodes here. Or, what's that? I did all the work for you and found that all of the episodes are available on E4's website? It doesn't seem to have an American pickup yet, but there's always hope. Sexy, sexy accents. Watch this show.
And you might want to program your DVR to record a new ABC show on 11 April: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23. You have to give a show a chance when it has Bitch in the title, even if they do have to censor it because we live in prudey America. Plus it looks like a hilarious roomie from hell situation, a mashup of 2 Broke Girls and New Girl.
I'm also in love with Lost Girl, the Canadian supernatural crime drama that's now on SyFy. It revolves around Bo, a succubus who feeds off of sexual energy, and her human sidekick Kenzi. The show follows our hero (and her trusty sidekick) on her quest to unlock the secrets of the mysterious Fae world. Think Grimm meets Once Upon a Time. If you miss my snarky, slightly douchey, always hilarious comments in your life, you'll love Kenzi. And there's plenty of gratuitous sex scenes if you're into that sort of thing. If not, look away/close your eyes, they'll be over soon. Canadians can catch full episodes on Showcase's website. Americans are a little bit hosed, since Youtube deletes links to copyrighted material. Hulu doesn't have rights to it, though Netflix appears to. Syfy doesn't stream full episodes online (probably because it's not a Syfy original?) It's a good show. You'll just have to trust me for now, since there don't appear to be any legal, free ways of viewing the show online at this time.
Remember Kaylena's rule of new TV shows, always give it 3 episodes for the writers and actors to really find their groove. Don't worry, you can tell me how much you love me in either the comments or via email (californiakay at gmail.com) or twitter.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Not Quite but Related to Kay's Blind Gayting (mis)Adventures: First Loves
I'm really struggling with the next scene in the Big Gay Charity Date Auction. And then I heard this song and my mind was off and running on a different tangent. I am completely in love with Gardening, Not Architecture. You should be too. The Florida Sessions (Demos) 021312: My First Love
Longtime readers might remember MarkyMark. MarkyMark was my first love. Perhaps not my first crush, but certainly the first person I ever loved more than myself. The first person I would do anything for. The first person I dreamed of a Happily Ever After with.
Perhaps we were doomed from the start. We were so incredibly young, so incredibly naive. We met first quarter, freshman year in college. We were both freshly 18. We had Calculus and Sociology together. I'll admit I was eyeing MarkyMark in Calc class. When I walked into Sociology and saw her again, you can bet I grabbed a seat nearby. MarkyMark quickly became my best friend. MarkyMark was my first kiss. My first relationship. My first everything really. I really thought we could conquer anything, that we'd always be together. I was so young.
I put a serious dent in MarkyMark's heart when I ran off to join the Air Force. Long distance relationships suck. But we made it work. We did it for four long years until we just couldn't anymore. We probably held on too long. I will always love MarkyMark, but I don't think we should ever date again. We've even discussed it, neither of us desiring that sort of relationship. We would have ended up holding each other back from what we really wanted to accomplish in life. And we make much better friends. I'm so glad I can still count MarkyMark as one of my closest, dearest, oldest friends.
Do I regret some of the things I said? Absolutely. Do I regret some of my behaviors? Of course. I was so young. I never meant to hurt MarkyMark. But I don't regret my first love or anything I learned from it.
I <3 you MarkyMark. Happy Valentine's Day.
Longtime readers might remember MarkyMark. MarkyMark was my first love. Perhaps not my first crush, but certainly the first person I ever loved more than myself. The first person I would do anything for. The first person I dreamed of a Happily Ever After with.
Perhaps we were doomed from the start. We were so incredibly young, so incredibly naive. We met first quarter, freshman year in college. We were both freshly 18. We had Calculus and Sociology together. I'll admit I was eyeing MarkyMark in Calc class. When I walked into Sociology and saw her again, you can bet I grabbed a seat nearby. MarkyMark quickly became my best friend. MarkyMark was my first kiss. My first relationship. My first everything really. I really thought we could conquer anything, that we'd always be together. I was so young.
I put a serious dent in MarkyMark's heart when I ran off to join the Air Force. Long distance relationships suck. But we made it work. We did it for four long years until we just couldn't anymore. We probably held on too long. I will always love MarkyMark, but I don't think we should ever date again. We've even discussed it, neither of us desiring that sort of relationship. We would have ended up holding each other back from what we really wanted to accomplish in life. And we make much better friends. I'm so glad I can still count MarkyMark as one of my closest, dearest, oldest friends.
Do I regret some of the things I said? Absolutely. Do I regret some of my behaviors? Of course. I was so young. I never meant to hurt MarkyMark. But I don't regret my first love or anything I learned from it.
I <3 you MarkyMark. Happy Valentine's Day.
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