Monday, March 12, 2012

Why I Hate Facebook: A Manifesto

Facebook, more than any other social networking site, emphasizes the absolute worst parts of people. And most of them don't even realize it. It brings out the annoying, the narcissistic, the attention whores. It showcases bad grammar, horribly ignorant religious or political ideals, racism, and rampant stupidity. It provides a forum for people to show off their horrible lack of skill that they don't want constructive criticism on, only praise. Heaven help you if you decide to point out that no, they cannot actually paint/photograph/sing/video/draw/write well.

Facebook should be a forum to reconnect with people far from you, but every time I log in, I am assaulted by people's neediness, their want for attention, their need to one-up each other in every single thing that they post. I can't stand it. STFU, Parents is a perfect illustration of this.

I am not findable on Facebook unless a person is very determined, or they look for someone else I am friends with. For a long time I had a personal rule about how many "friends" I would allow. When I reached that number, I would go through my list and delete people I hadn't talked to in a while. Then I gave up, I just don't care. I log in only when one of my close friends or even closer family (the baby bro) demands that I do so, and it is always with a sigh. I post very few pictures, especially of myself, because I am not there for attention. Mostly I post updates of my dog when my mother harasses me via Skype or email. When I do update my picture, it is so people can recognize me when I see them again. Because, yes, I change my hair frequently. I'm not looking for people to tell me how much they like my new hair. I honestly don't really believe most of them anyway, they're posting on my wall, how sincere could they actually be?

I prefer my social networking sites to be friendlier to artists, of all kinds. I like them to be simple, and instead of doing everything with varying levels of success, I'd prefer a site that does one thing very well. I like my networking sites to be full of people who take things less seriously, who are more likely to let things roll off than to take offense. I prefer people with a sense of humor. I prefer to not have my relatives or acquaintances know every aspect of my life. I have never publicly posted the status of a relationship. I do not like to be stalkable by anyone curious about what I've been up to.

I don't like to post on people's walls, that seems douchey and insincere; like you're inquiring about how they are not because you care, but because you want to give the appearance that you care. If you genuinely care about someone, send a message. Send an email. Send a letter. Pick up the phone and call. And FB wall-posted birthday wishes are even worse. They've caused me to despise birthdays. I deleted my birthday from the site, but family and friends still post on my wall every year, prompting a ripple of other people to post.

Everything about Facebook feels fake. I could not dislike it more if I tried. I signed up because I lost a bet. I maintain my account because it is honestly my only way to keep in touch with some people, but I will use just about any other method of getting in touch with people that I can.

I am anti-Facebook. This is my manifesto.


Michelle said...

I use facebook to post whorish photos of my boobs, stalk people, and update my status every time I make a new bowel movement.

It's a whore barrel of fun. Try it!

Kay said...

I don't even know if I should take you seriously or not anymore. It is wine:30 after all...

You have ALMOST tempted me to log in to see if that is what you actually do on FB, but I can't recall being horrified by such things when you last made me log in, so I suspect you're lying. Have I mentioned I can be a tiny bit gullible? You are such a whore barrel!

Michelle said...


Michelle said...

New post, please.

Kay said...

You're seriously the biggest whore barrel I know. *long sigh* fine. New post.

Michelle said...


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