Kay's Blind Gayting (mis)Adventures: Know Your Baggage and Be Yourself

(I love music. When I spend too long without it my life goes wonky. I've just fallen in love with a pop-rock-grunge band with pretty, pretty accents called Mechanical Smile. You should give their song Take Me To The Other Side a listen and vote for it so they win Redbull's little challenge.)

Read the whole Blind Gayting series here. Scroll down to 8 February and work your way up.

To the Blind Gayting (mis)Adventures:

I've come across a lot of articles lately about "celebrities" (let's not start the debate about what qualifies someone as a celebrity today) saying they don't think they're pretty. And then people tear them to shreds in the comments or even the article itself.

But I totally get it. I am becoming more and more anti-label as a whole as I spend more time on this earth. I'm not particularly comfortable with undeserved complements. I don't have really any choice over the face I wear around every day, I didn't pick my name, and my voice is the one that comes out when I speak. I look in the mirror and yeah, I'm cute. I've got interesting eyes. I've usually got a cocky smirk on my face and something interesting going on with my eyebrows.

But I'm also sarcastic. A bit of a smart-ass. I'm quick with a come-back. I try to be informed about a wide range of topics and things that interest me, but I recognize that there are millions of things that I don't know anything about. I know that my taste in clothing and sneakers and music and movies and my sense of humor aren't always shared by everyone else, and I try to gauge if I've anything in common with my conversational partner so that I'm not blathering on like some completely self-absorbed douche or sitting in awkward silence. I try to stay away from the 3 conversational no-no's at all times: Religion, Politics and Hunting, because I enjoy getting to know people via conversations, not debates.

But all of that is MY baggage. They're my issues to work through, not something to expect other people to pick up on and be aware of. And above all, I'm almost painfully polite. I will never tell someone to please shut up, stop saying that thing they're saying, that they're making a complete horse's ass of themselves.

That said, I'm not comfortable with people I don't know (or barely know) who hand out superfluous complements in an unending stream. Who assign intimate, pet names upon first or second meeting. Don't call me Beautiful like it's my name when we just met 20 minutes ago. Don't have a glasses fetish (or at least keep it to yourself the first couple of meets, like everyone else). Don't be overly touchy when I'm not drunk and I have no personal relationship with you that lets you in my bubble. In fact, assume that everyone has a bubble and that you should respect it until you are invited into it.

People: BE YOURSELF. I know everyone gets nervous, or tries to hide up their unsavory quirks, but for fuck's sake! Shut your mouth for 5 seconds and pick up on what the other person's not saying. If they're tense or relaxed. If they're focusing on you or looking at anything but. If you're boring them out of their mind or making them so uncomfortable that they're squirming in their seat every time you open your mouth.

If you choose a first date/brand new relationship to start introducing yourself by a new name, how about don't meet up for a first date at a place that everyone knows your actual/common name. Because when you go to the restroom (and you will at least once), your friends or regular bartender are going to attempt to put your date at ease. And then that date will say something about what a funny person you are. And they'll use your name. And the friendly bartender will look at them like they're on crack, because apparently NO ONE FUCKING CALLS YOU THAT NAME OR ANYTHING CLOSE TO IT.

*Clears throat* But I digress, be yourself. You're pretty cool. There's a reason this person though you were pretty cool. Don't suddenly get so nervous that all of the things that make you awesome and uniquely you fly out the window. Just take a deep breath in, let all the retarded rules and advice your friends have given you out, and smile. Say hello. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Will you look a bit peculiar smiling and saying "Hi" again every 5 minutes? Yes. But hopefully they'll find it endearing and you'll still be better off than if you're rambling on like a jackass, playing some stupid mind-games or working The Rules.

PMS Update: Music and TV You Need

TMI? Yup. But you're a big kid. You can deal with it.

I'm a tired, painy, bitchy hot mess today. I have a ridiculous headache, in a fun new location than where it's been for the last two weeks with my herpes. My brain's going all dyslexic, which is a a fun new type of typo, but I am here. And blogging. And researching the things I say so I'm not just lying to you. Because I love you. And I have new discoveries to share. Because Sharing is Caring. *Care Bear Stare*

New for your ears:The Sacramento music scene is an interesting animal. Definitely different than Seattle's music scene, not that I am claiming to be anything but a casual observer of either.

Back in 2009, right before I left Sacramento, I had the pleasure of dragging some friends out to see The Donnas at Marilyn's on K. They had 2 other bands opening: an all-girl act by the name of Aroarah that I had been wanting to see and a band I was unfamiliar with named Triple Cobra. My buddy Crossbow may have been a little butthurt that the bands drank all the Jack in the place, but she soon got over it. The four of us drank too much, a couple of us relentlessly flirted with and/or hit on some band members, someone put In-n-Out stickers all over the rear window of my vehicle, and I woke up with a bitchin' hangover. It was a fabulous night that I would do all over again. My friends ended up liking Triple Cobra best, but I suspect that had more to do with their crazy stage getup and the game of what-are-they we played about the lead singer. (I checked their Facebook, Myspace and band website and the only music I can find for you is on their SoundCloud. Way to make me work for it.)

Sadly, Aroarah seems to have broken up. But from that breakup I've luckily discovered two new Sac bands that former Aroarah members have formed/joined up with: F1rst Class Citizen and Playboy School.

F1rst Class Citizen categorizes itself as Sex Rock, which is new to me, thus I am instantly curious. I recommend having a listen to their songs "Naked and Famou$" and "Leech," because they make me want to put them on an endless loop. Bonus: you can download a copy of "Naked and Famou$ on their Facebook page. I strongly advise you to do this.

Playboy School is a Rock/Electronic/Indie duo, a genre I already have a love affair with. Their Facebook page offers only the song "Salvation," which I have a rather solid crush on. Their ReverbNation page offers up 4 videos, but the audio's not amazing. I'm assuming they sound better live, but until I can catch them somewhere, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for an EP.

And hopefully you've already been following along with Gardening, Not Architecture's newest project: The Florida Sessions. She's posting a new song every day for 2 weeks. Sign up for her newsletter and you get a copy of the project dropped right in your inbox when she's done. My favorites so far (that I have listened to again and again) are My First Love, Cities, and Bird's-Eye View. But I really like to just hit play on the top song and let them all cycle through. What are you waiting for?

New for your ADD (New TV): My buddy Alice turned me on to the awesomeness that is the British tv show Misfits. After 5 straight hours I had a slightly British accent I couldn't get rid of, so you might want to break it up a bit. There have already been 3 seasons, so you can have yourself a lovely little marathon on either your computer or one of those swanky internet tvs (I use a sweet little Sony box that makes my normal flat-screen into a faux internet tv.) If you're a Hulu-er, you can catch all 21 episodes here. Or, what's that? I did all the work for you and found that all of the episodes are available on E4's website? It doesn't seem to have an American pickup yet, but there's always hope. Sexy, sexy accents. Watch this show.


And you might want to program your DVR to record a new ABC show on 11 April: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23. You have to give a show a chance when it has Bitch in the title, even if they do have to censor it because we live in prudey America. Plus it looks like a hilarious roomie from hell situation, a mashup of 2 Broke Girls and New Girl.

I'm also in love with Lost Girl, the Canadian supernatural crime drama that's now on SyFy. It revolves around Bo, a succubus who feeds off of sexual energy, and her human sidekick Kenzi. The show follows our hero (and her trusty sidekick) on her quest to unlock the secrets of the mysterious Fae world. Think Grimm meets Once Upon a Time. If you miss my snarky, slightly douchey, always hilarious comments in your life, you'll love Kenzi. And there's plenty of gratuitous sex scenes if you're into that sort of thing. If not, look away/close your eyes, they'll be over soon. Canadians can catch full episodes on Showcase's website. Americans are a little bit hosed, since Youtube deletes links to copyrighted material. Hulu doesn't have rights to it, though Netflix appears to. Syfy doesn't stream full episodes online (probably because it's not a Syfy original?) It's a good show. You'll just have to trust me for now, since there don't appear to be any legal, free ways of viewing the show online at this time.


Remember Kaylena's rule of new TV shows, always give it 3 episodes for the writers and actors to really find their groove. Don't worry, you can tell me how much you love me in either the comments or via email (californiakay at gmail.com) or twitter.