God damn

Oh my dear sweet baby Jesus. I'm dying inside my head, and because we're a week out to surgery now kids, I can't do anything about it. I have a headache the size of your mom, and all my other joints are fucking me out of my mind with pain. My elbow is excruciating. My elbow folks. How the fuck is that related to my knee pain I'd like to know. I left work at 11 30, although I don't really see what the point was. Hurt here, hurt there, who gives a fuck right?

IHOP was and always will be the shit. StapleGun, Hawaiian, another chick and I went there, and all was good in the world. There's nothing some french toast can't cure. I'd go there now if I hadn't just taken my sleepy pills. And if my stomach wasn't being a whiny little bitch. You shut up or I'll punch you in your crap-lousy face! Or something like that.

I have to admit I'm not much of a drunk dialer. Mostly my friends take my phone so I'll stop texting and be social before we've even finished the first drink. Crossbow does that a lot. I've drunk dialed MarkyMark, but I think that's it. I threw my phone across a yard and into a sprinkler once because my dear mother was calling and I didn't want her to know I was trashed.

Regarding MarkyMark, I'm not really sure what to say. MarkyMark lives 701 miles away from me, according to the almighty Google; and as a result, I don't see MarkyMark very often.

I'm going back to bed. Love to you all.

No Title

Sooooooooooooooooo drunk right now.

We didn't go out. Me, StapleGun and Hawaiian just kicked it in StapleGun's room and ordered a pizza, and talked. God I've missed her.

I'm going to bed cuz we're goin to IHOP in the morning. Like I think 10. But I have to wake up at 5 to talk to MarkyMark.

Much love to you all.

I know, I know;

I'm supposed to be posting about last Saturday's going-out-ness.

Here's the story, skip if you'd like. There's no group bunny: Me, Crossbow, ThanksgivingGirl, Crossbow's sister, Crossbow's cousin, DD, and many other work fools went to a strip club. The kind where chicks strip. We had a hotel room, cuz this place was about an hour from home, mostly because the strip club didn't serve alcohol, and this way we had a place to get our drink on. We went straight to the hotel so Crossbow, her sister and her cousin could get ready. At this point there was the four of us, plus ThanksgivingGirl (TGG) and 3 other fools. The plan was to wait for the other people to show, then go grab some food, come drink some at the hotel, then go to the strip club. We ended up waiting a hella long time, and since there was alcohol, we started drinking. On empty stomachs. That's right, we're that stupid. I'm going to town with my bitch-beers, and eventually with my Patron, and Crossbow and her 2 relations are gettin it done with a bottle of Hennessy. Long story short, by the time that mother fucker DD (He was the designated dumbass last time we went out, and I'll probably just keep calling him that, to keep it simple in my mind) showed up at 10 something, we were way more trashed than we should have been. Especially me and Crossbow. We decide to go straight to the club, because they serve food there. Me, Crossbow and the cousin have decided to walk, everyone else grabbed a car. Crossbow's not walkin so good by now, so me and her cousin both have an arm around her, just walkin down the street. A couple of the cars came back to get us, since apparently this place is a couple miles down the street. Crossbow dives into the back seat of one fool's car through the fucking window, and over the headrest. I had decided to be all hardcore and keep walking, because damnit, I had the ability to walk. (I love alcohol. It makes my knees go away so I can use them again. I had already suggested that night that we skip the club and go to a 24 hour gym nearby, just cuz I was so happy with my knees. And cuz I was that drunk.) Then another car comes and scrapes my dumbass up, and on to the strip club we go.

Walking in, the bouncer dude asks Crossbow if she's gonna be ok, wobbling in on her super-cute Coach heels as she is, with one of my arms wrapped around her waist. She convinces him she's great, and we proceed to the lady at the register, who asks Bow if she's gonna puke. Bow tells the lady all's well, and we wander in to find tables and chairs for our party. Bow is all over the place, and I'm just trying to hold onto her so she doesn't take a tumble, while trying to find out if they're still serving food, and how to get some ordered and into her. We get up to find the Restroom, come back to find our seats stolen by our party, and Bow goes and sits in DD's lap, wrapping her arms around him and not letting go. I manage to pry her off of him and get her into a chair when she decides maybe she should go throw up. We make it to the bathroom, and she asks me to come into the stall with her, since she's forgotten how to throw up. I explain it in a way that she seems to understand, and hold her hair and her waist up while she heaves and heaves. This poor, poor girl was done. So done, she should have never left the hotel.

Bow's cousin wanders in and I put her in charge of Bow while i go try to round up a car to take our asses back to the hotel and tell her sister what's up. Bow ends up passing out in the bathroom, her sister carries her out of the club, and our whole fucking party decides they all need to take her back to the room... Completely unnecessary. Me, TGG and one other girl end up stripping Bow and putting her in her PJ's, then me and TGG got her all tucked in, with a trash can next to her on the floor. All the other fools wander in at one time or another to say they're headin out or just to see how bad Bow is. At this point, I have to admit I was pretty fucking trashed too, cuz I was hella over-protective of Bow. That asshole DD was saying "someone" should take pictures of her, and wouldn't it be bad if "someone" drew on her face. I told him I'd fuck him up if he tried. He ended up leaving. Ass face.

So me, Bow, the cousin, the sister, and one dude ended up sleeping in the room, everyone else went home. The next morning Bow orders room service, and eats toast while laying down (the funniest shit ever to see.) Then when she got to the crust she just threw that shit across the room. She was not the Lord that next morning. Come to find out she couldn't even remember leaving the hotel. She said she woke up hella pissed cuz we didn't go to the strip club. I ended up driving her home, and she wasn't 100 percent again till Tuesday. We went out Saturday.

No group bunny. No funny stories of Kay running thru residential areas because she's being chased by camera guys, and then stops to hurl all over someone's front yard. No real funny stories at all. Hell, I didn't even see any of the strippers, unless you count that one in the bathroom, who was really nice and quite funny.

..............................................................................................................................................

Went to the doc yesterday and finally got some fucking painkillers. No, I'm not sharing. Unless you come entertain me. Then you can have the whole damned bottle.

I'm bored, I've been awake since 2:34, and I can't sleep.

I'm posting at an insane hour.

My alarm doesn't go off till 5.

I want to go back to the gay club we went to last time. It was so much fucking fun, you have no idea. The problem is that no one (outside of Bow) is really cool and down with going. They're having a huge party at that club this weekend. No cover all weekend... Anyone want to come to Sac-town and kick it with me?

Alright, I'm gonna go watch some bad early-morning TV.

Much love to you all.

You should go here, it's completely silly: http://www.catsinsinks.com

Oh My Lord

Fuck whatever I was going to talk about Thursday, I went OUT Friday night and that totally takes precedence.

Now, when I go out, I try to hit up the ATM so I'm workin with cash and don't have to be that asshole at the restaurant who's all "I only have my plastic, d'oh!" Well, apparently me and Hefe were the only ones who thought that way... Assfaces.

So my boy who I swim with is leaving us very soon. We had an official going away party a couple weeks ago (which I believe I neglected to mention... I'll get around to it. That was a sweet ass night too), but his last day of work was Thursday, so we went out Friday night to re-celebrate.
There's supposed to be like 15 of us at the restaurant, but only 11 showed (and two were mysterious booty-calls who were late).

We ate at this place called Fats, which served up some pretty good Asian cuisine. We had a reservation for 7, but were a bit early so we headed to the bar (our party was 5 deep at this point: Me, Crossbow, SwimBoy, our DD, and a guy who's been gone for a bout 6 months.)

We got our table a bit early, Hefe showed up, we're just sitting around waiting for everyone... Drinkin to kill the time (on wonderfully empty stomach's of course). A girl from work (sometimes referred to as Stickbug here) showed.. More waiting... A young couple with a brand new baby showed up bout half an hour late and we finally ordered. Then Guy-who's-been-gone-for-6-months (GWBGF6M) has 2 random booty calls show up and it got all crunchy... Somethin bout our DD (who is GWBGF6M's best bud) bein all mad that the random booty calls were there. Who knows. I'd had 2 Calypto Breeze's at this point and just wanted to have some fun.

When the check came, it was some major drama for some reason, involving everyone passing the check around and making "Hmmmm" noises... I didn't really catch the reason behind this action, but whatever. Hefe and I got tired of the bullshit, threw down roughly twice what our meals cost, and bailed under the excuse of a smoke break.

Half an hour later they finally come outside. It's decided that Hefe will roll in the truck with Crossbow, SwimBoy, DD and myself, while GWBGF6M rolls with his booty calls. The rest of the group is going home. We have absolutely no plan, we're just driving towards Sac, any part but Old Sac (not that it sucks, we've just gone there the last 2 or 3 times we've gone out, and it was time for a change). We get off the freeway and are randomly rolling down K street, until we start seeing bars. As one of the dudes up front is naming off bars they see, I realized they sounded familiar, and I start to laugh to myself. My wonderful buds have taken us to Gay Sac. And there is no way I can tell them this info without being interrogated for knowing. DD is told to find a parking spot as soon as he sees one. I sense good times a brewin...

He pulls up in front of a little bitch-ass looking place called the VooDoo Lounge and we all pile out. Crossbow has been asleep, so she has no idea what's going on. I told her we were roughly 2 blocks from Gay Sac and she laughed. This would be some fun shit. We start walking, then someone (I think SwimBoy) decides we should just go into the VD Lounge. This place has some shite service, fucking weird customers (and most of the crowd looks like they came straight from a business meeting, but I have to admit, the booze was strong, and cheap.) They get a bad review from me for not having Smirnoff Ice, Corona, or Miller Light... I decided I didn't want anything if all they had was bitch-ass drinks, so Hefe orders me a shot of tequila. You can't not man up to a shot, so I swallowed that bullshit down, then stole Hefe's water. My boy SwimBoy ordered me a Jack and Coke that I don't think had any Coke in it at all. At all. I had to throw that shit over to him, I'm not a fan... I stole some of Crossbow's beer, realized it wasn't that bad and ordered one for myself. And then another... I stole Hefe's Old-Man-Hat several times, we took some pictures (one really cute one with me, Hefe and Crossbow. I love those two kids), and I started getting antsy. The music was bitch-ass in this place, and I wanted to dance. It totally doesn't matter that I never dance, I wanted to. I told Crossbow that there was a sweet club with awesome music just down the road, so she started quietly asking they guys (one at a time) if they had a problem going to a gay club. Hefe had heard about it before and is always down to try new things, SwimBoy said he was down, so DD was the only one left. He said No way, but then asked if SwimBoy was cool with it. When he heard everyone else was in, he changed his mind real quick. Whatever. Everyone finishes their drinks, and BWBGF6M finally shows with his booty calls. He orders drinks, and I head outside cuz I'm annoyed with all stupidity and everything makin me wait. I don't remember what the hell happened to the booty calls after that, and I didn't see them at the next place.


So I'm leading the way down the street, and then Crossbow asks me what the name of this place is. I'm not really wanting to say, so I keep walking. Apparently I'd breezed right past it (it was on the other side of the road tho, so don't completely lose hope in me). So we go in, pay the cover, and I grab Bow's arm to head into the room with the music, cuz it's pretty packed in the club. I led her and DD over to a less crowded spot, with a bench to sit on even, the headed back thru the crowd to hunt for SwimBoy and Hefe. Once everyone was over on our bench, I bought the first round from the cute cute bartender, and everything was all good.


Over the course of the night I danced with Hefe, Crossbow (several times) and SwimBoy. DD refused to dance, and BWBGF6M showed up later. I ended up kissing everyone in our party on the cheek at one point (there's a picture somewhere of me kissing DD on the cheek), except maybe Bow. I don't remember kissing her. I know I grabbed everyone's ass (not smacked, straight up grabbed) at some point; again with the exception of BWBGF6M. I had a wonderful night, and couldn't believe it when they announced Last Call, and Last Dance. The last dance was "Ain't no Mountain High Enough" and I know I made a huge fool of myself dancin with Bow to it, but who cares right? God, what a great Friday night. And, thanks to being smart and keepin my ass hydrated with water during our little drinkfest, no hangover the next day.

A good time was had by all, except maybe DD. Bow thinks he was sad that no guys hit on him (except one of the bartenders on the way out). SwimBoy got mildly molested on his way into the club (some guy grabbed his package), but nothing major went down. Good times kids, good times.



(And for the record, Hefe's hat doesn't really look like the ones pictured, I just think it totally looks like something my Gramp would wear, and give Hefe shit for it. He's got 3 or 4 of them in varying colors.)