This Is What Madness Looks Like

I try to turn up the creepy when dealing with my dog sometimes, just for fun. I'll let her inside and say "Why hello Clarice" and she just runs past me like it's nothing. This does not bode well for my future human interactions.

Actually nothing I do seems to phase her. So I can conclude that 3 years of constantly being fucked with is how long it takes for one to become completely immune to me and my ridiculousness. 3 years and Stolkholm Syndrome has a firm grip on the soul. That's love. So now I just need a creepy basement, some handcuffs and a 3 year supply of ramen and Febreeze.

You have no idea, nor can I properly explain, just how much things turn around when it finally stops raining. The sun has peeked out after 2 hellish weeks of rain clouds and I feel like the fog is clearing. I can crawl out of the hibernation cave. I can burn the sweatpants. I'm not destined to be a complete mental case until I contract some horribly rare disease and die. (Children will be the bringer of that disease, mark my words. Little walking germ-factories...)

The stat counter machines tell me I'm only #10 in my hatred of Facebook. This is sad, I really thought I had more contempt for that site and its users. But really, they're just poor, misguided fools who don't know the value of keeping their collective mouths shut. ("Hello, pot? This is the kettle. ...Yes, yes, in the kitchen. ...No, I don't know how I'm calling you either. But the point of this call is, you're black. ...Yes, I'm sure it's a shock, Dear, but we were all thinking it. I thought it time you knew.")

The stat counter machine also tells me that the Brits have quite a thing for Fight Club. I knew I liked you people. If you're looking for somewhere to crash this summer as you flee the Olympic Mania I'm sure is coming, my couch is free. You can even watch Reality TV if you'd like, I won't judge. Not out loud.

I wish you coffee stains and sunshine, dog breath and wagging tails and big brown eyes that are completely irresistible. And perhaps someone to trick into loving you forever, if that's your thing.

Flailing: The Not As Funny Update

These songs sum up everything I'm feeling right now:

The Florida Sessions (Demos) 021612: Birdsong

The Florida Sessions (Demos) 021412: The Blank Canvas

I've been living inside my head a lot lately. Some of it as I try to remember facts and details to put together stories. Some of it as I try to reevaluate and figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. I'll be 27 soon and I never thought this is where I'd be. I've always looked forward to my late 20s. I was supposed to have my shit together by now.

I'm flailing. I am rethinking everything. I've made so many mistakes and I'm starting to wonder if moving to California was one of them. I needed to move. And I do love it here. But everyone I once knew has moved on. Everything I used to know has changed. I know that I need to go out and make new memories and establish a new normal, but every single time I do I get sick for a week or two or three and end up right back where I started.

I have never failed at anything as epicly as I have the past few months. I am in a downward spiral of fail and while I've never felt as free as I do when I contemplate rebuilding, I've never felt as paralyzed by fear either.

Today I'm torn between climbing further into my head and getting out and walking my dog and cleaning the house (I've been sick for two weeks. It needs love) and completely avoiding all the things inside my head.

I feel the need to make some major changes. To cut some people from my world and reconnect with others. To get rid of everything and start over. And even the need to move again. But for now, I'll go walk because that seems to be what Lolo wants the most. At least she knows what to do.

Time Flies

Wow. I sit here, one week from my last Chemoversary and I cannot believe how time has flown by. So very many things have happened in the last year, I don't even know where to begin. Honestly, about the only way I mark the passing of time anymore is how many years out I am from that last Chemo. 7 more days and we'll have hit 4 years with "no evidence of disease." And I still have nightmares where I wake up in a cold sweat, having been told that the cancer is back. Fuck cancer.

I stayed in Washington for just over two years before admitting that I couldn't handle the rain. I'm back in NorCal and I'm happy with the move. There have been good things in my world and there have been bad things. Mostly I am left with a huge amount of gratitude and love. You people are amazing and I should have kept in touch. I apologize. I've let a lot of relationships slide.

Christmas is just days away; that blows my mind. I'm not going home this year. I haven't decorated. I haven't even shopped. It's just another month in just another year. I'm not feeling it. And honestly, I'm not really feeling my family either.

Lolo and I are just sitting on the couch chilling, I'm waiting for drugs to kick in and it's hitting me: the more time goes on, the more that things change, the more they really stay the same. I love you all and am so very thankful to have had you in my world. I wish you and yours a happy holiday season, no matter what you do or do not celebrate. Be well and Fuck Cancer.

I am a vast array of contradictions

I am easily amused. It doesn't take much to entertain me. I get excited by new shopping purchases. My most recent purchases (and thus my newest joy inducing toys):

Beefy new tires for my truck.

Cute little reindeer antlers for Lolo to wear when she sits on Santa's lap for her Christmas photo. (Shut it Barbie. Right now, before you even start)

Two new pairs of Adidas I got while Black Friday shopping with Lil Bro.

The awesome new recumbent exercise bike that is waiting to be assembled in my living room.

And the new makeup I ordered from Avon, upon finding the catalog on my mother's kitchen counter.

Which brings me to the real point of this post. I ordered two mascaras, one eye liner, and some mixed thing of eye shadow. I may not know much about makeup, but I do like to play. And part of that playing is my late night dressup/hairstyling/makeup experimentation. I believe Diablo Cody said it best (via Juno McGuff), "There's nothin' like experimentin,'" right kids?

This Avon order was delivered to me a few days ago, but because I was deathly ill all weekend, I have just now remembered it and decided to bring it out to play. I'll admit that Avon has a bit of a tough sell headed its way in convincing me to be a fan, since I'm completely in love with Urban Decay's mascara and eye liner, but I am completely willing to try new things. Once or twice.

I'll admit to having an oddly curious fascination with Avon, my grandmother sold it all of my life. The siblings and I were always so excited to go to Grandma B's and see what new things she had. So when I saw that Avon catalog sitting on my Mother's counter, I couldn't help but open it up to see what was inside. Being new to the world of makeup, I figured it would be almost irresponsible of me to pass up a sale and with it the cheapened opportunity to explore a new brand.

First on the play list was AVON's Daring Definition Mousse Mascara. Old school style brush/wand. Black color. Nothing remarkable. It didn't cause any clumping, but that may be because it's a new bottle. It reminded me a bit of Maybelline's Stiletto Mascara, if Stiletto didn't cause wicked clumping. Downside, it does absolutely nothing for curl. At least Stiletto gave my lashes a bit of a curl. I'm beginning to see the point of lash curlers.

Let's take a little detour for a moment here. Do you remember back in '03, when AVON started that marketing campaign where they tried to rename their makeup line Mark? In an effort to attract the under 60 crowd, they went on and on about how you needed to "Meet Mark," with all of their glamorous models walking around asking each other "Have you met Mark?" Cheesy as hell, but apparently it worked, since the Mark line is still around.

Next in the rotation was Feeling Fine Ultra Thin Eye Liner. I was pretty excited about this because I love eye liner. The right eye liner can work miracles. An ultra thin eye liner has potential. Off comes the cap, and I see that there is some sort of inner cap still stuck on. I put the cap back on and pull it off a few times, trying to dislodge it. No love. Since my grip is weaker than a limp fish's (Thank you Fibro), I bite the inner lid and try to pull it off. Then I realize that perhaps it's not meant to come off. Instead it twist it left and right until I see that it works like lipstick, except there seems to be no going back once you've gotten it out of the tube. Odd, but I'll go with it. Looking at the eye liner in disbelief I catch myself off guard when I say aloud, "You were in my mouth." And then I giggle, because Lolo has just looked at me as if I'm slightly dense. Undeterred, I start on my top right lid, and the tip breaks off. Now that I know how this little beast works, I twist it and return to my top right lid. Again the tip breaks off. Hmmmm. Apparently it's a bit of a science to get enough out to use without breaking off the tip. I twist just a tiny bit and decide to attempt the lower right lid instead. After stabbing myself in the eye twice, I manage manage to get the job done. I twist out a little more of the (stick/pencil/stuff) and go back to the upper lid. And the tip breaks off. Three Strikes and you're a failure.


Dear "Mark,"

What the hell man? How about some effing instructions?

You're done,
California Kay

I can has Benadryl?

I went to see Kelly Clarkson Tuesday night with Barbie. It was epic, I'm working on that post.

Woke up Wednesday with a mysteriously sore throat, and no recollection of screaming like a 12 year old girl all night.

Kicked it with lil bro Wednesday night, throat still behaving oddly.

Slept nice and late Thursday, and awoke to a slight twinge in my left ear.

Spent an odd Thanksgiving with the family. Remembered why I've had other plans for Thanksgiving for the last 5 years.

Got conned into going Midnight Black Friday shopping with lil bro, instead of at a nice normal hour, like 4 or 5 AM.

Bought two more pairs of Adidas!!! Have no idea where I shall put them when they are not on my feet.

Had to park way out in BFE and walk 8000 miles to the stores, while whining about my lungs and the cold and how the two do not get along.

Went on a donut seeking adventure with lil bro, only to strike out repeatedly.

Was home and back to bed by 4AM.

Woke up again. Immediate thought upon waking "What the hell is wrong with my ears?" And then I realized the rest of my head hurt too.

I have pressure and pain. I think it's just a nasty cold, but we've also got some wicked awesome nausea going on. Yay me! I have located my stash of "I'm sick" meds, and am playing doctor to myself, while sleeping and drinking enormous amounts of liquid. Lolo is unsympathetic to my plight, but that's nothing new.

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Please send meds, but for the love of Jeebus, no soup!

Why do we bother with sleeping anyway?

It's 0200 and I am filled with an aura of awesome. I can't sleep but that's not bugging me right now. Instead I am wondering why we ever try to sleep at all. If we could just not sleep, imagine how much more productive we'd be. Sleeping consumes one-fourth to one-third of everyone's day, and for what?

Besides, I find that I am at my height of creativity late at night. I make the best CD mixes, I have the most ease in converting my thoughts to words, I create most of my random artistic crafts; all of it late-night. I think I should just become a night person, sleep during the day and do all my living under the cloak of darkness.
Think of the benefits:
-I could gain quite the reputation as the neighborhood creeper, a living legend among the local children.
-I wouldn't have to fight those horrendous grocery store crowds anymore; no one grocery shops at 3 am (except the crack heads, but they're mostly harmless).
-The sun will no longer be my enemy. The amount of money I'll save in sunscreen alone almost makes up for the possible hermitie side effects.
-Never again will the dog park be too crowded. (Of course, since Lolo is a bigger pansy about the cold than her owner is, this might not be a very big win).
-My sleep schedule would be ideal for weekend partying plans; no more fear of being the first to fall victim to sleep.
-As everyone else is waking up and fighting through the morning rush hour traffic, I could be crawling into my bed, ready to sleep the day away. And I do love my bed. It's pretty much the most awesome bed in the history of beds. The perfect mixture of firm and squishy. One can sleep on their stomach, back, side, any way they please, and it's all good sleep.

When you look at all of that, who wouldn't want to switch to nighttime living immediately? Who is with me?

Lolo Tales EDIT: Now with pictures

As I lie here in my peaceful bath of bubbles and Epsom salts, the sound of whatever my DVR is set to record Wednesday nights playing in the background, I am struck with a profound, even life-altering thought. Is it the cure for cancer? Is it the meaning of life? Is it a way to spit out the billion stories of epic adventures floating around in my head? Nay. It is the realization that I have created a monster. Lolo has been sitting outside the bathroom door (that I had to trick her into going through mind you) whining for 15 solid minutes. While I have made much progress and am now able to take my showers dog-free roughly 95% of the time, Lolo believes that any time a bath is drawn, it is for her. As soon as the water starts running she mysteriously appears from whatever adventure had previously been holding her ADHD brain captive and will jump into the tub. It doesn't matter if she is dead asleep or outside running around like a mini wildebeest. As soon as the shower is turned on in fill-the-tub mode, Lolo is there.

I now realize I cannot live in a house that does not have a bath tub. I cannot live with anyone who intends to take baths frequently (because how do you explain an 8 pound monster who does not care who is in the tub when she decides it's bath time?) I'm not even sure I can have roomies again, because we would have to take Lolo's bathtub needs into consideration when scheduling shower shifts. (Side note: do people really do that? Schedule shower shifts? I've only ever had one roomie, but I assume that if there were several people who needed to get up and out the door around the same time that it would be problematic...)

She's a monster, plain and simple. She will spend as much time in the tub as I let her. She has these two little penguin swimmer toys, they zoom around the sides of the tub and she chases them. It's the most entertaining thing ever. As soon as I find the chord for my camera I'll upload the videos. In the mean time, we're mysteriously running low on bubble bath, and my allotted bath time is up. The upside: once Lolo's done with bath time she's usually ready to crash. Score!


Halloween story and Dating Chronicles are still on their way.

Hello my pretties

I've neglected you for far too long, and for that I apologize. I think about you all the time. I scribble little notes to you on the edges of my papers while I'm in class, so that I can come back and talk to you later, and then I forget. I'm sure my Psych professor loves the little memo's though. He cut his shaggy hair, so I'm assuming he read that one. The gotee's still with us though, so perhaps he doesn't read everything...

Anywho, I'm back in Washington. I'm in school. And I miss you. Lolo turned 1 last month! She's still my wee little bastard. I <3 Twitter. I got a Facebook (But I blame Crossbow for that one. It was a deal/dare, and I had to pay up by getting a FB.) I believe I've mentioned before that I <3 this chick, but if you're unclear, you should probably go check her out again. She makes me laugh, therefor you shall love her.

I have an English paper I'm semi writing right now, but it's being a frustrating little thing and won't come out right, so I'm "taking a break." I was actually Googling Strawberry Cupcakes and decided to pop in and tell you all that I <3 you. And cupcakes. And lamp.

Lolo's growling at me in the way that translates to "Bitch, if you don't come play with me, your shoes are going to pay," so I'm going to be a good little human-slave and listen (I have new shoes people. They don't deserve to die.) Plus I have cupcakes to bake. Let's do this again soon shall we?

Oh what a day

My poor Lolo got her girlie-part-altering surgery today. Happy half birthday baby...

I went to my Dr two hours away today. I was supposed to see cancer doc, then get some lunch, and have a chiropractor appt in the afternoon. Cancer doc then proceeds to be over an hour late (sadly, she's always at least an hour late), but as I was the first patient of the day, I foolishly thought this wouldn't happen. Wrong! Then she reviews my latest cancer scans and says "well, this one did not come back negative." And I say "Oh isn't that dandy..." Dandy. I used that word. So she says there's some "activity" going on in the right arm pit again (wtf is up with arm pits? Are they good for anything other than sweating and cancer? Thought not.) and the left groin area. I kinda giggled when she said groin. She said first we need to get some blood work done to check my tumor markers and other random blood levels. Then she also wants an ultrasound of the arm pit and a possible biopsy afterward. And you KNOW I'm looking forward to that.... Biopsy's are so fun! So what with all the tests and whatnot, I missed both my lunch and my chiropractic appt. Shaft.

The blood work usually comes back in an hour, I'm still waiting to hear back from my doc... It's 9 pm. I got my blood taken at noon. Yeah... Great doc eh? The ultrasound isn't scheduled till Tuesday next week. I'll keep you updated. It's very likely that it was all just a fluke, which is why all these backup tests are being taken. I already got my 3 bad things, so it's not possible that the Kanser is back. I'm not letting it. Plus, I just got my hair to an appropriate level of sexiness. I know I'm the hotness when I'm bald and all, but being bald during the summer? Sunburn? Really? No thanks.

My doc did me a solid today though. I was telling her about my upcoming back procedure, and she asked if I'd ever tried acupuncture. I said I'd thought about it but didn't know of a good person to try. The cancer doc who is one door down the hall just so happens to be certified... We walk out the door of her office, she introduces me to him, he says he's got some free time right now, and I say, "why not?" So Dr TinyNeedles says he's going to try sticking pins in my ears to get rid of my back pain. Still a bit sceptical and nervous at this point, I say ok. He uses these tiny gold pins, and some weird applicator, and just shoots them into your ear, one at a time. How he pics the spots I don't know. Voodoo magic probably. Then I have to walk up and down the hall, sit back down, and decide if it still hurts. 5 pins in my left ear, 3 in my right, and my back feels amazing. I'm to keep them in 4 to 5 days, but if they fall out on their own it's no big deal. When my back starts to hurt, I just rub some of the pins and it stops. The ears throb and hurt like crazy, but the back feels amazing. I highly recommend acupuncture to any of you who've been contemplating it. Do it now.

I'll keep you in the loop. Mostly I'm worried about my poor Lolo... She's making these sad little crying sounds. She's completely taken oven my heating pad, and I'm pretty sure she has no intention of giving it back. She ate dinner, she's sleeping a lot. Keep your fingers crossed for my baby. Mommy spent enough money on her surgery... At least that damn vet tax didn't pass...

Much love kids. I've got to figure out how to sleep with these little pins in my ears.

P.S. Jerk is back!!! Go love on him.

I've come to realize

That I'm not such a great blogger when I'm happily paired up with someone. I'm a much better blogger when I'm doing miserable things like getting dumped (because someone not me got pregnant---remember that one? Oh snap!), or having cancer, having knee surgery, getting food poisoning (remind me to fill you in on that one), having ports put in or taken out (thus causing all sorts of bad port jokes to ensue), or other depressing, not so much living a normal life things.

And I'm ok with that.

So in efforts to become a better source of entertainment to all of you, I shall recap my week:

-Monday: normal monotony at work, Teriyaki from the best place ever for dinner

-Tuesday: Dr's appt 2 hours away, more love from my special Janitor Stalker, went do dog park where some undesirable dog tried to make sweet love to Lolo, Teriyaki from second-best place ever for dinner.

-Wednesday: Work goes crazy as everyone pretends we have a normal job while some VIP tours the building, Teriyaki from best place ever for dinner.

-Thursday: Work more monotonous, Teriyaki from best place ever for dinner (it is the best place ever because it is the best Teriyaki on earth. And because everyone who works there is cute). As soon as I finished eating the Teriyaki of Awesomeness (always eaten at home, always shared with Lolo), I felt immediate pain in my Tummy of Not-Quite-Steel. Lolo appeared to be ok. Pain didn't go away. I found my chlorox disinfectant wipes and cleaned the Porcelain Throne, because I knew what was coming. I worshipped that throne. The Tummy of Not-Quite-Steel didn't feel better. There was nothing left in it, but it still was not ok. All night it felt like a sucker punch had been sneaked in when I wasn't looking, mixed with nausea and odd hurty-hurtness.

Friday: I called my Dr first thing in the morning, got in at 9 (hello, 9??? I'm having a tummy emergency damnit!), and he was kinda a douche and said it was textbook Food Poisoning, and it'd go away. No magic pills of wonder, no excuse from work, nothing. Said call back if it didn't go away, never mind that it was Friday, and they're not open weekends. Dr Douche... I go to work, where my supervisor's supervisor sends me home (yea, he's not as big of a douche as we tell everyone he is).

I slept a lot.

I craved more teriyaki. I got uber hungry, and went to the so-not-in-the-same-league-as-to-practically-be-a-different-type-of-food-altogether Teriyaki House. It did not hit the spot, but I did not get violently ill...

On my way home to eat my unpleasant Teriyaki, some douche rear-ended me. I throw up my hands in the universal symbol of What-The-Fuck? and pull into the nearest parking lot when the light turns green. Dumb-shit-rear-ender-man pulls his Volvo in behind me. I make sure my Lolo love is ok (it was a little tap, more annoying than anything), and climb out to check my beastly lil truck.

A dirty looking hippie climbs out of the Volvo to check the damage he inflicted upon his own "car." My lil truck, I am pleased to report, has barely a scratch upon the plastic of it's step-up part of the bumper. Dirty hippie's Volvo has a busted headlight and some unpretty scratches on it's stupid bumper. Score one for Ford!

Dirty hippie claims he "dozed off for a second." I suspect he's more than a little bit high, and just want to get away before I get some sort of dirty contact high from his clothes.

Saturday: I decide that Lolo needs some Dog Park time, since she is driving me crazy with her energy, and she already had a bath Friday, AND joined in my shower that morning... (I swear she's half lab or something. I can't keep this monster out of water). I load everything up in the truck of awesomeness from the passenger side, then cross around the front to jump in, and we're off. ...For 10 feet. ...When I realize something is very wrong. The left rear tire is flatter than your mom's pancake booty.

I put the truck back and proceeded to freak out. I do not have AAA. I do not know how to change a tire, though I do have a spare tire. This is of no help to me, because I do not even have the strength required to open my own bottle of orange juice. At work I alternate who I have open it so the same person does not laugh at me every day.In the midst of my freak-out it was brought up that my insurance might call a tow truck for me. And they did. Apparently a tire change is covered under my towing package. Nice. For future safety, I got myself some AAA as well.

The dudes came and changed my tire, then I took the tire of holeyness and the Lolo of squirmyness to the tire patching place. 2 hours later!!!!! Lolo was actually a very good girl, sat in my lap the whole time. I decided to reward her by going to the Dog Park an hour away. We're there maybe 20 minutes when the Animal Control douche shows up and kicks out every dog who's not wearing their tags. 3 dogs remained... Lolo hates her collar, hates her tags, hates her harness too, but I make her wear that one.

So we went to the second-best Teriyaki house ever and got some din din to go. She's still my good lil angel, and my 3 things of shittiness are done, so my week's now lookin up.

Much love kids.

Let's put that lil post behind us

I am now taking applications for my Rebound and for a new group of friends. Please email your reasons of why I should consider you to californiakay@gmail.com. Also, if you could post in the subject line which position you are applying for, that would save much confusion and possible embarrassment.


Moving on, it has now become all about Lolo. This face, the face of cuteness, is helping pull me back into the real world. We went to a doxie meetup last weekend, where the cuteness just sat there, and let people tell her how cute she was, instead of running around letting off some steam like her mommy intended. We're going to another meetup this weekend, and then doing this art-walk thing in downtown Sactown. My plan is to pimp Lolo's cuteness and find some new friends or just let random strangers tell me how cute my dog (and I) is/am/are.

I went to my chiropractor on Tuesday (after a 2.5 month back-procedure-induced-sabbatical), and my favorite stalker was waiting for me. He's this semi-short, nice seeming janitor-dude, and he's always trying to holla. So I made up a boyfriend (who in my mind resembles Michael Clarke Duncan. My Janitor Stalker asks on Tuesday if I'm single yet. I have to think for a few seconds, and say, nope... Sorry. And he's all, "That sucks." Then I reply, "Uh, actually that's good for me, I don't want to be dumped." Then he's all "I'll wait for you." I'm rather stuptified by this comment, so I say "...uh, ok..." Then he's all thinking it's a plan, and repeats "I wait for you, ok." And I was so about to laugh and said I had to go, because I did in fact need to get to my appointment. So now the question is, how do I deal with having to go to my Chiropractor every Tuesday and manage to avoid my stalker until my next back procedure on 30 April? Seriously, open to all suggestions on this one...

I've got to get back to work, lunch break's over. Much love and puppy kisses to you.

One year---Fuck Kanser

It's been a year and a day since my last chemo kids. Time for celebration.

Instead my dumb ass decided I should go play in the snow, since we don't have snow back home. I soon realized why I don't play in the snow. It's exhausting, pointless, sweaty work. All for nothing. Fuck snow, and fuck kanser.

I get to fly home tomorrow, and see my Lolo. I miss her like crazy. I hear she's been quite the little shit too. She chewed through ChopStyx's cell phone charger, she's been pooing just off of the potty pads, she's terrorizing ChopStyx's dog. My little Demon misses her mommy.

Love you all and wish you all the best for your holiday break.

Merry Christmas Eve

Edit: Now with pictures!
California Kay and Lolo wish you a very Merry Christmas. I'm currently snowed into the lovely state of Washington, while my Lolo is happily keeping ChopStyx company back home in Cali. Did I metnion there's no cell reception here? The snow won't stop falling, and it's made the power flicker a few times, though thankfully we haven't lost it yet. The parents got the driveway plowed yesterday, but we got 7 new inches of snow overnight, so it's starting to fill it in... Wonderful right? White Christmases are totally overrated, BTW. I have not left this house in 5 days and it's starting to show. If I lose connection to the internet, somebody's going to die.

I just wanted to share some pixelated love with all of you, and tell you I'm thinking of you. Happy Holidays kids.

Oh California Kay, where have you been?

I'll tell you.

Since approximately June I have been looking for a puppy. 2.5 weeks ago I lucked out. I found my baby. Last Saturday ChopStyx and I drove to Bakersfield to pick up Lolo, my 1.2 pound ball of fluff. She's a chocolate and tan Mini Dachshund and I love her.

So I've been waking up several times a night to make my baby "Go potty," and feed her. The first night mommy and Lolo woke up 5 times (so fun! Not.) Now it's usually only once a night. I am still sleep deprived, and don't think there is a spot on me that hasn't been chewed on, but my lil poop head is worth it.

Picture time, I dare you to say she isn't the cutest puppy in the history of ever.






Coming soon: Puppy Chronicles (and more pictures)