A fine is a tax for doing wrong, a tax is a fine for doing well

For being a person who quit drinking, I sure have a lot of booze. I've got bitch beers, Corona's, Captain Morgan, Red Rum, and a lot of little bitty bottles of fun just waiting to be unleashed. I think subconciously, I'm getting ready for a good time. Or maybe not even that subconciously. I just... don't want to get drunk with someone I don't trust. Ever again. Lord, that was not a pleasant memory. So I'll just play my cards right, wait for a good time, and then get fucking tore down. I was at the gym with my buddy PJ this afternoon and he invited me to go Out on Friday night. He never really has definite plans though, and that drives the control freak in me crazy. Just went to a party of his Saturday night. Show time was 5, but me my bud Heff were running late so we showed at 5 30. And we were still the first fools there by almost an hour. Anyho, long story short, I fell asleep on the couch, and we went home at like 9 30. Parties aren't fun when you don't drink. But somebody's gotta DD right?
I just got tired of being that asshole who got Fucked up and everyone talked about the next day. Or the one they sent vids around of... Good lord. When you reach the point that Patron "smells like M&M's," it's time to stop. It's not time to drink some more, then decide what you really need is to go for a run. Especially when it's not your neighborhood, and you're the only asshole in shoes. It's funny later. After the puking. After everyone quits showing the video where they're following you like some wild animal on some safari show on Animal Planet. I can laugh now. I can laugh a lot. I'm just tired of being that fool for a while.
See, I didn't drink before I turned 21. My parents didn't drink, and I was a good little girl. Then, once I turned 21, it was on. And I didn't know how to pace myself. It was not the lord. It was a big fat drunkfest. But I had a lovely friend (Crossbow) who took care of me when I got all wasted. But another "friend," she wasn't such a good friend. She had me comin over and would pressure me into drinking every damn weekend, usually more than once a weekend. I didn't want to. It wasn't fun. It was just sit around the house and drink. And if I had 3 lil bitty beers (bitch beers), I was toast. I spent many nights crashed on their couch. And the last time... It wasn't good. So I quit. I won't drink with them again.
But I'm feelin a party mood creepin up on me. And it's got me a bit freaked. I don't want a repeat of the last time. My trust is a bit shattered... The duct tape holdin it together's not as strong as one might think. Got to take it slow this time around, ease back into the drinking, find out who I can trust when the shit hits the fan. I've DD'd plenty a time, now we'll see who can man up to being the DD when I want to have a lil fun.
Keep on keepin on kids. Keep on keepin on.