A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline

Last night, along with trying to get my buzz on and posting incoherently, I found myself doing a little Myspace Stalking. Thank the Lord I'm not the only one who does this. It started with checking a friend's page to see what she was up to (StapleGun actually) and then I found a mutual friend of ours in her Friends link, then stalked a few more people from MutualFriend's page. And Some of MutualFriend's friends have really pretty eyes. I love eyes. I can fall into crushdom with someone based on eyes alone. I spose it's wrong of me to stalk on Myspace when I have my page set up so people can't do that to me. I'm just very guarded. I'd even prefer to be able to have some sort of semi-friend list that is different than what your real friends can see. Cuz some of the people on there... I had my blog on there set up to preferred list only, and I was getting comments from people not on it. Not a safe feeling. I almost want to delete my Myspace or have one set up for just a few of my friends. I'm just too uncomfortable with the whole if-they-can-find-it-they-can-read-it way that the system works. I don't want to be found. Even by people I went to high school with, or work with, or anything. If you're a friend, you already know how to find me, if you're not... Don't fucking look. I don't want to talk to you. It's just akwardness I'm not looking to initiate.
(*warning: family ranting bullshit from this point forward*) That, and the fact that my Mother is on there. How lame is that shit I ask you. And my brother. There's shit in my life I really don't need them knowing. I quit sending bulletins and blogging on my Myspace mostly because of my wonderful family. I don't like my family all up in my business; and they seem to think that because we're family, it's their right. It's only blood fools. My family was an interesting one to grow up in. I'm not gonna bitch (anymore than I have), it just resulted in us not being very close. Or maybe I just rebelled against their beliefs and shit, who knows. I just don't want them all close. I consider my friends my family. Maybe because my friends won't let me down, or judge me like my family does, I don't know. My friends (my family of friends) are very important to me, more so than my actual family. I'd do anything for them, and they for me. So Hefe, Crossbow, StapleGun, MarkyMark, ThanksgivingGirl and of course all of you out there in Bloggerland, I love you guys. Thanks for letting me be me.