Sunday, December 17, 2006

They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient

But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it much more personal and sincere.
I'm stalling. I don't want to start my laundry because then I'll have no excuse not to pack it. Once I'm packed, I have to accept that I'm that much closer to leaving. I think this is also why I haven't arranged for a ride to the airport. I don't want to go. I go thru this every year. It doesn't ease any; I think it might get worse with each time. I've had nightmares all weekend. I'm going to be stuck there, trapped, for 11 (or 12) grueling days. Lord, I do not want to go home. My mother smothers. My dad yells and just generally scares the shit out of me. My little bro, well, he's 18, I'm sure he can't help it, but he's the most annoying little shit there ever was. My sister (JJ) is actually the only one I'm looking forward to seeing; which is ironic considering we didn't exactly get along growing up. I couldn't stand her, and I'm pretty sure it was mutual. But she'll be working most of my visit, so I'm not sure how much I'll see her.

But on the plus side (which is also on the minus side when you consider the frustration it's sure to bring), I'll be buying a new truck when I'm home. I can't wait to actually have it, and to drive it the hell out of there. My mother wants to send my little bro home with me, so I won't make the 14 hour drive alone. Nice thought mom, but no. I refuse. I've never made it alone, but I can't be trapped in a moving vehicle with that boy for an extended period of time. My mom thinks maybe we'll bond. I think he'll get thrown out of a moving vehicle before we even reach Seattle, much less Portland. He has always had a way of pushing every single button I have until I need to leave the room. I had hoped he'd have grown out of it by now, but apparently not. Plus, my little brother drives too slow. He would ruin all my hard work to pass everyone. When I'm on a long drive like that, I get bored, so I make it a game to (not at insane speeds, just eventually) pass everyone. Then when you stop at a rest stop, or for gas, you have to catch back up and pass em again. And when I relenquish control of my vehicle, it pisses me off to no end when that person lets everyone I've worked so hard to pass go past us. It ruins all my hard work. Maybe I can take JJ. Except she can't drive a stick-shift, so she'd just be there for company. Which is still cool with me.

I went to my first ever laundry mat with Crossbow yesterday. It was interesting. It was terrifying. I would never go in one of those alone, and if you do, damn, you've got more balls than I do. Bow had to wash her bedding, and her washer's too small (and she hasn't gotten her new dryer delivered yet.) Apparently she does this like once a month, and usually goes with her husband. He was busy with the cable guy and more stuff with the new home, so she asked me. First off, the people in there... there aren't really words to describe them. They stared us the fuck down though, probably cuz Bow rolled up in her fuckin BMW. Probably not a smart choice Bow. And we were the only ones in there who looked like we knew what a shower was. We went in first to get quarters. This fool put in a 20, and everyone kept looking because the machine kept going and going. So we were laughing at this, and the general seediness of the place and the patrons, when Bow notices one of the women folding underwear. She's folding this ginormous pair of tightey whiteys. Gi-fuckin-normous. So we start just bustin a gut. She turns away, so she's facing the wall, and quarters are still coming out, and we were fucking dying. Then, carrying her shit in, Bow stepped in some kind of shit. Inside the laundry mat. She didn't notice till she was puttins her stuff in the machine, and we both started cracking the fuck up. She will now forever be known as shit-foot. Just because. She tracked it all over that place before we noticed. After she had her blankets and bullshit started, we left to walk to the Long's Drugs next door, and I asked if she seriously wanted to leave her car there. The car parked next to her had it's bumper attached with black trash bags and duct tape. The other ones weren't much better. She decided to leave it there since it was a short trip. She scraped her shoe on everything trying to get the shit off. I will no longer walk on the rugs just inside any store, since that's what finally succeeded in getting the shit off.

We went back to the Mat to throw her bedding in the ginormous dryers, then drove to Walgreens. We were unsuccessfully searching for this awesome hand cream that I have cuz she'd used mine and wanted some more. This stuff is awesome. I can even use it on my super-sensitve face with no worries of a massive face riot. And it doesn't smell bad either. After we got all her shit from the laundry mat, we found the hand cream at a different Walgreens (the one I'd originally gotten mine at). We grabbed a quick dinner at a little terriaki bowl place, where I was finally forced to admit I'm completely white and have no chop-stick-skills whatsoever. But unlike Bow, I tried. That's got to count for something right?

Ok, I've stalled long enough. And my mother called again. It's time to shower and start my laundry.

3 comments:

stonelifter said...

got tons of that stuff that neutrogena at the save-on across the road. have fun with the family, look at it this way, you shall have plenty to write about so use it as a creative experience.

stonelifter said...

oh yeah, an anecdote on the chopstick thing, there is a place across the road called the mongoli grill. same thing, fast stirfrys and the like, anyways i eat there quite frequently because it is fast cheap and good and better than eating at mickey d's. i go in one saturday afternoon and the staff who are all oriental are eating, they make a big communal stirfry and sit at a table in the back corner. i notice the are all eating with forks. all the white patrons are eating with chopsticks. i am picking up my order and i point this out to my server, i think she is one of the owners and she laughs. chopsticks are too slow she says.

Kay said...

Michael, thanks for the input.

Stone, I'll definitely have plenty to write about. I'll just have to remember to not block it out of my memory.
Chopsticks are indeed slow. But they amuse me. So when I've got time, I'm totally gonna use them. I find it hilarious that only the silly delusional customers (like myself) use them.