Why do I wait to post till Friday?

So, I've had so many things running around in my head all week I wasn't sure what to post first. And now the week's gone, I'm home alone on a Friday night, all hopped up on my Vic (cuz I decided to live it up tonight kiddies. Ooh, watch out!), and ready to stop being just a blog-stalker, and spew the inner-workings of my deformed brain with you all.

I'm no good at twirling my cane.

Holly, my cane looks just like this shit. Except my rubber cap thing is black. It's rather lame, I know. It's what the physical therapist gave me. I haven't yet had an opportunity to get one that's more pimp.

I want this cane, it's fuckin awesome!

Oh yes it totally is awesome. Shut up, what do you know about canes anyway?

I went back to the Nugget Market last weekend, and Larrythewineguy said they're still out of the Lambrusco (Bruscus Lambrusco that is, all the other Lambrusco's I've tried have sucked major ass), and I might have to wait till the next press (or whatever the fuck wine term he used that breaks down to "next season") to get more. That means I have to wait till August people! If I have to wait that long, I'm going to buy so much of it, people will think Prohibition's about to come back. That's right. I'm gonna hoard that shit like a fat guy hoards toilet paper.

I found a place near me that sells Kokanee! Score! So apparently there are only two places in all the land (read: California) that sell my shit, and I lucked out cuz they're both in Nor-Cal. If you want to find out where you can score some Kokanee, don't go to the website, it's a total ass-muffin in the help department. Instead, call the number I found listed on the bottle: 1-800-Kokanee. They're open 7-5 pacific time, and the chick I talked to was very nice. If you can't find a distributor near you, then fly out here, the party's at my place. I'll pick you up at Sac International. If you fly into San Fran, you're on your own bitches!

Marky-Mark said to tell you PieCat caught a bird today.

You don't know Marky-Mark.

That's PieCat being all ashamed of her bird-crippling self.

I got PieCat for Marky-Mark right before I left Washington. PieCat's my sweet babygirl. After she's had a couple days to remember me that is...

I spent most of last weekend with ThanksgivingGirl. We went to the mall, went to a movie, went to Cold Stone (best shit ever), went to Nugget Market, and then kicked it at her house with her adorable dog and cat and watched a marathon of America's Next Top Model. She's a complete tool to that show, and now has me quite addicted.

ThanksgivingDog

On Tuesday I went over to Choncho's house to kick it with his 6 year old so Choncho and the wife could go shop for 6YearOld's birthday presents. I don't call it baby-sitting, because I love this kid to death. I've kicked it with 6YearOld before, and it's always a blast. I've picked him up from school, and kept an eye on him several times. I was just glad they didn't leave me the new 2 month old. Babies freak me out. I like them in the walking, semi-talking, tell-me-what's-wrong stage. Plus, they tend to laugh at my silly jokes more that way.

6YearOld won a Nintendo Wii at church last week, and Choncho asked me if I'd hook it up while they were out. Hell-to-the-yes! 6YearOld was all over it trying to help me, and he actually seemed to know what he was doing. Dudes, the Wii is soooo much fun. And we were just playing the game that comes with the system (it has Tennis, Baseball, Golf, Bowling, and Boxing). I suck ass at the Golf, but that Boxing was the shit man! I totally want a Wii now. Me and 6YearOld ordered some pizza, and he stole my cane and hid it twice. Did I mention I fucking love that kid? He kept saying he liked me, and I was fun. What an ego boost. And then he made a comparison of me to his grandma. I asked him how old he thought I was, and he said "500!" I got all stern and told him I was only 498, thank-you-very-much, and he collapsed into giggles. I love it when he giggles. He's my silly little boy. Last time I kicked it with him, we played Jinks (how do you spell that shit?) and he beat me twice. I ended up owing him an orange soda and a vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles. I made his cupcakes the next day and sent them home with Choncho (since he works in my building).

I love other people's kids. I wish my siblings were old enough that I could have some nieces and nephews (please, not any time soon for those two though. You hear me Lord?) They're just so much fun. ThanksgivingGirl has the cutest little 2 1/2 year old, and he knows my name! (A major accomplishment since some of the other people from work freak him out and and sometimes make him cry.) He's a little gum whore too, always hitting me up for more (and I always give it to him. So so cute.) He knows an easy mark when he sees one.

Ok kids, this has turned into a damn bible, so that's all for now. And I know I still have to post about my weekend in Washington. I'll get to it...


P.S. I go to a new Orthopedic Doc on Monday to look into the knees. I hope this chick tells me something other than the standard "It should go away on it's own;" especially since now all my other joints are fucked up.