This one's for Cheese (Hi Cheese!)

For those of you who are unaware, Inner Voices and his girl Special Cheese (not to be confused with gov'ment cheese) are the shiz. I love them to death. Cheese's questionable taste in beer (Kokanee is the only beer that should be consumed, ever) can be overlooked by her general awesomeness. Make no mistake, she's no me. But I have high hopes that someday her level of awesomeness might grow to something close to mine...

So Inner Voices and Special Cheese called me up the other day. My head was all afuzz with painkiller nonsense, and they might have had a brew or two, so can any of us be trusted to accurately recall what was said? Probably not. Oh wait, except for me, because I'm badass. So Inner Voices first off calls and is all talkin bout some voice mail, and I was sooooo confused (since I hadn't listened to it). It goes a little something like this "Hi, this is Richard, calling from the port authority down at the naval yard, calling to make sure that all your ports are.... uh... taken care of, and you know, all unported..." and then you can hear cheese in the background, and I want you to know right now that I love these two fools. That was the first time I listened to that voicemail, and you KNOW I saved that bitch. Seriously, seriously. Hands-down, best drunk-dial I have ever received.

Cheese, you were in no way an asshole. I laughed at your good luck, no one rocks at talking to strangers, and I realize my awesomeness can overwhelm at times. Just wait till you kids come kick it in person, you'll be speechless in your awe of me. (What's that? ...No... I'm not cocky. Nooooo. You must have the wrong person.)


Seriously with the port jokes kids? Nasty. My port did not make any sounds or anything. It was under my skin. All you could see was a scar, but you could feel the port under my skin. When the nurses went to do the chemo or blood work, they had to grab the port under my skin and hold it while they hooked me up to the IV. A rather squeamish feeling.

And now, a word from our sponsors:

I have hair! I have enough hair that as of two days ago my hair can get messy. Look at that luscious luscious bedhead! And my eyebrows! I have my eyebrows back. I've let one of my friends convince me that I should leave the eyebrows alone till they're completely back, which is why I look like a wilderbeast.

This is what radiation did to my awesome hair. I quit shaving my head the first day of radiation, and hair started growing all over, but then cuz they were radiating my head, it caused hair loss and a sunburn effect on the one spot they zapped my brain. I can feel a little bit of fuzzy startin to grow on the spot now, but I wish it'd hurry up...

There is an awesome little tea place in Roseville that has wicked chai. And the name of the place just happens to crack me up.

"You are the cheese to my mac." A little shout out to Juno, the awesomest movie ever. If you haven't seen it yet, WTF are you waiting for fools? Diablo Cody (coolest fuckin chick ever, after me of course) won a fucking Oscar for the pure awesomeness displayed in that movie. Seriously? What more do you need?

I'm doggysitting for my next door neighbors, and one of the three dogs is the cutest little bug bug ever. I'm seriously considering stealing her...

And that's a wrap people, much love.