Eruption of an Angry Bitch

Dear Mother,

I know that you've had two surgeries in six short weeks now, but we need to talk. You're a perfectly functional 49 year old woman. You managed to raise five children, and you normally work every day with special needs high-schoolers, an admirable task that I do not envy you.

Your recent surgeries have not affected any of your limbs, and were not life-threatening. You are very lucky to have not had any infections, and that you've healed rather well. And I know that a hysterectomy is a very stressful thing for a woman to go through, both physically and mentally.

That said, you need to grow the fuck up, man the fuck up, and back the fuck off. I have had five surgeries and countless minor procedures of my own, none of which you were there for. I went through eight rounds of chemo, of which you were there for one. When I finally broke down and swallowed enough of my pride to beg you to come help me, you gave me half-assed excuses for why you couldn't. My last back procedure I drove myself home from, and believe me-I felt it. I do not want or need people to care for me when I have surgeries or procedures, because I plan ahead and make sure I have everything I need to take care of myself. I've got me.

So if I have to hear you whine one more time about the pain you're in, or that you're nauseated, or bored, and you choose not to listen to me when I tell you to take your meds or call your doctor, I will not be held responsible for my actions. I understand and can empathize with pain and boredom, but do not whine at me just to whine, not when you're going to ignore everything I tell you.

I'm not your fucking lackey, I'm not going to ask if you need something, then spend the next 10 minutes drawing it out of you, insisting that I really do want to go to whatever fucking store you want me to go to, even though it's out of my way. I will offer once, because once is how often I truly mean what I say. I am not your babysitter, and I do not appreciate being used as such. I respect your husband enough to not have any plans for this weekend, because he asked me as a personal favor to be here for you while he had to work, but don't fucking push it.

I'll help you out and get what you ask, but you'd better realize that I'm doing it as a favor. So why don't you do us all a favor and grow the fuck up, man the fuck up, and back the fuck off.