Random things you'll wish you never knew about me

That's right, I haven't got anything today, so we're going to build a beautiful, beautiful list.

1) I love living in California.

2) I love alcohol.

3) I would still love California without the alcohol.

4) Probably.

5) Most of my friends are from work.

6) I'm ok with that. They're some funny people.

7) I'm going to see Blades of Glory on Saturday with ThanksgivingGirl.

8) She's from work too.

9) I'm addicted to infomercials. I have to turn the channel, or I'll buy anything they're selling.

10) Seriously. I have Proactive, the 6 Week Body Makeover, the Red Fitness system, Some Microderm Shit... I'm sure I'm forgetting some...

11) And yes they all suck.

12) Patron is the fucking bomb.

13) I've decided that when I have my going-away party from work, I'm getting myself some Patron Platinum.

14) Only 14 more months till my going-away party.

15) You should come. It's gonna be wild.

16) But we'll probably go back to the gay club.

17) Because it is fucking awesome.

18) I got a cane today. It's not like a pimp cane, it's like an old man cane.

19) As embarrassing as it is, with everyone looking at me, it made my limp go away, so I guess it's not that bad.

20) I just talked to Crossbow on the phone and she said when we go out next she's gonna pimp my cane out with black and white... something. And then I must wear my black and white fugly hat with it.

21) And my Docs. I love my Docs.

22) Crossbow's away on vacation this week. I miss her.

23) I used to have my navel pierced.

24) I took it out because I wasn't a fan of infection.

25) It only got infected a couple times, I just am that much of a non-fan.

26) I kind of miss it. It was fun to play with.

27) My ears are only pierced once in each lobe.

28) I'm cool with that.

29) Some people call me a pansy because I drink "Bitch Beers."

30) See 28.

31) Actually, I only drink Smirnoff Ice. Red or Black label. None of that fruity shit.

32) And of course, my Patron. My beautiful, beautiful Patron.

33) "You must let me in... Because I feel the hot rhythm of disco burning in my loins."

34) I love that 70's show. Most times.

35) I really want Heelys. You can get them in adult sizes you know.

36) You know I won't do it. I can see me fucking my knees up pretty bad on a pair of those bad boys.

37) They'd still be fun though...

38) What the fuck is up with UFO Pants?

39) Do people really buy into shit like this? The Verseo Portable Aqua-Toner Exerciser w/Carrying Handle...

40) Who am I kidding, given a convincing enough infomercial, I'd buy it.

41) Oh my God! I just dropped my keyboard on my knee!

42) Oh that is not the Lord.

43) I like disco music. If I could find a disco bar, I'd so be there.

44) I like grits. But not southern style. I need a little sugar on mine.

45) I think it'd be fucking tight to be a bartender.

46) Once I've gotten this whole knee thing squared away so I can stand, I'm taking that damn course in Sac-town... Oh I'm doing it.

47) Unless they cut off my knees. Then I'm going to run marathons. With my prosthetic legs.

48) And the whole time I was running I'd be saying "New legs! Lieutenant Dan's got new legs!"

49) Yeah... Yeah, I think I'm funny. God that'd be funny.

50) I used to rock at hide-and-go-seek.

51) We should play that some time. Maybe with some booze. Probably a lot of it.

52) It could be fun.

53) Unless the booze ran out. Hmmmm.

54) Call me what you will, but I like flannel sheets.

55) They're just so soft.

56) I need a bigger bed. I'm talkin California King baby.

57) But... I don't have space for such things right now.

58) "I'll stay."

59) "I suggest you hit Sir."

60) "I also like to live dangerously."

61) I think Cinderella is my favorite of all the Disney Princesses.

62) The Jungle Book comes out this year... Sometime.

63) I can still remember watching that on VHS at my Gram and Gramp's house.

64) I miss my grandparents. I need to call them more. But it's not the same as being able to just swing in and give them a hug.

65) I have a problem hugging people. Actually, that's incorrect, I can hug people, I have a problem with people hugging me.

66) I think it's a bout not being in control.

67) There are two person in this world who can hug me without me being all freaked out.

68) They're not family.

69) Some people's hugs can make everything ok again.

70) I like to read books. I need more shelf space.

71) I need more space period.

72) Or just less shit.

73) My stepdad scares the shit out of me.

74) My knee still hurts from the keyboard.

75) Or maybe just cuz it's a little fucking bitch. God I hate my knees. Stupid... D'oh!

76) Audrey Hepburn was beautiful.

77) I think she's my favorite actress.

78) Why can't I live closer to a Chick-fil-A?

79) I fall asleep on the phone. A lot.

80) I know that's got to be frustrating. I don't mean to.

81) I argue when I'm half asleep.

82) I don't like spiders. At all.

83) I'm a nerd.

84) My friends use me for Tech Support.

85) That's cool. I like the challenge of trying to figure out what's wrong with the computers.

86) Crossbow's computer recently had an issue. She's never had virus protection on it. Ever. And her firewall was disabled. When I ran a scan, she had 148 "Threats." I just laughed...

87) It's all better, don't worry.

88) God, how did I get to 88? Oh, right, this is just bullshit.

89) I'm no good at twirling a cane.

90) I love my phone. I go into mild panic-attacks if it's not on me.

91) I once got to work, realized I didn't have it, and turned around to go back and get it.

92) Yes, I was late to work, but it didn't matter. I needed my phone.

93) I know I'm a huge toolbag.

94) ThanksgivingGirl bet me 20 bucks I couldn't eat a whole medium pizza from Pizza Hut on Tuesday.

95) I'm both ashamed and proud to say that I won...

96) Mostly ashamed.

97) I want to bake cupcakes.

98) But not tonight.

99) I huuuuuuuuuuuuurt

100) I might have a slight tendency to be a bit whiney.

101) You got a problem with that? Bring it.

102) Yeah Holly, I'm talkin to you.

103) Oh my God I'm tired. We're done here.