In honor of a dear friend's failure, I decided to bake her FailCakes. But then I realized my back and knees were killing me, so I self-medicated with my equally dear friend Mr. Patron.
Here is the diary of Buzzed FailCakes:
Did the dishes
Got out Martha Stewart's Cupcakes cookbook
2 shots of tequila
Made a shopping list
Looked at my glorious hair
Got out a bowl
Put on black Adidas with cute little stars
Got out 2 eggs
Put on a hat (for hairnet/sanitation reasons)
Got out the milk
Put 88 songs on a new playlist
Another shot of tequila
Mixing of ingredients as directed by Ms. Stewart
Apple cider vinegar is the same as white vinegar right? RIGHT!
Ooh look, foamies.
Hmmm, the batter's not red... Maybe it's in the baking
Begins to suspect that the FailCakes will become actual Failcakes.
Puts first batch into oven
Putting more batter in more paper cups
*opens oven halfway thru bake time* That's not red!!!
*Timer sounds* Yep, those are definitely brown
We can call them Brown Velvet right? Same thing?
Mmmmmm, tastes like Failure. You know what Failure needs? More Tequila!
Wait, what does Red Velvet taste like anyway?
Let's make the frosting, maybe that'll fix it.
Another shot of tequila
Final Analysis: Good, but these cupcakes are in no way red.
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