You Want A Blog Post?

Oh I got your blog post.

RIGHT HERE: https://twitter.com/#!/kayfro

Bottom up. Don't whine. It's not like you pay me to do this. It's not like I'd change anything if you did.

Morning after edit: A lot of investigating seems to go on when Kaylena drinks. FYI: I don't drink as often as I talk or think about drinking. Not anymore. I honestly just don't care for alcohol. 4 shots were involved last night. Total. I took 3 and then about 30 minutes later took the 4th. And there was at least 2 hours of stalling and trying to distract the pain away where I avoided the kitchen counter where the shots were sitting. Make no mistake, I was trashed. But I am ridiculously anal about getting spelling right, much more so when drunk. Drunk me has always been better at journaling, emailing and writing things down that sober me. Perhaps I'm more Hemingway than I ever knew.

Tweets
1m Kay @kayfro @cranberrytarts Ok, give me a second to locate it. I can put it in Roomie's bed, right? I don't have to sleep with it, do I?
4m Kay @kayfro @cranberrytarts I feel the need to go tuck my Peanut Butter in so no one can call me a bad baker...
6m Kay @kayfro @cranberrytarts You put the peanutbutter to bed? How cute. (Yeah, I know what you really mean, it's just so fun to twist it.)
6m Kay @kayfro Followed, of course, by "YOU'RE A WANKER NUMBER NINE!"
7m Kay @kayfro Resisting Urge to climb on top of vehicle and shout "Luce, I can do this. I CAN DOOOO THIS!"
8m Kay @kayfro Drunken job applications, couldn't hurt, right?
12m Kay @kayfro I feel like putting on my old Uni's & sneaking around the 'burb, but thanks to the Neighborhood Watch I know corner-dude has security cams.
15m Kay @kayfro Note to self: Eating your ring would be bad. When you sober up, you will find it under the KitchenAid
17m Kay @kayfro What a bitch.
17m Kay @kayfro My dog seems less than impressed by the finger-guns.
19m Kay @kayfro Can't we just vote for mickey mouse or something?
20m Kay @kayfro WAIT. RON PAUL IS STILL ALIVE?!
20m Kay @kayfro Ugh. News. I thought I avoided having to watch that GD debate.
21m Kay @kayfro Oh you "Have me covered" do you, California Ford Dealer? Then where is the Ranger, huh? You douches.
26m Kay @kayfro HOW IS EVERYONE ASLEEP?! It is not that late people! And I am not THAT drunk...
38m Kay @kayfro Considering ordering pizza but insisting they deliver to the kitchen window, not the front door. While wearing this: google.com/imgres?um=1&hl…
57m Kay @kayfro How the fuck is it not even 10 30?! I thought it was at least tomorrow, maybe even Friday by now. Fuckin-A
58m Kay @kayfro OMG IS SVU ON?! Am I missing this? Thank goodness for DVR.
1h Kay @kayfro That's going on my resume. 72 WPM sober, 68 WPM drunk-No Typos. FUCK YES.
1h Kay @kayfro 68 WPM DRUNK WITH NO TYPOS. SUCK IT!
1h Kay @kayfro You are so fucking welcome that I'm OCD about getting all the spelling right, you have no idea. If I just let all the drunken typo's go...
1h Kay @kayfro Uh oh. We have new emails. What have you DONE Drunk Kay?!
1h Kay @kayfro M'k. I'm not unconvinced that the house next door is actually just a weed-grow-house. Who wants to investigate?
1h Kay @kayfro OMG DO I HEAR AN ICE CREAM TRUCK?! Let's investigate.
1h Kay @kayfro If I don't lose 10% of my followers tonight, I'm not doing this drunk thing right.
1h Kay @kayfro Leaning heavily on counter. Elbow slipped. Near death experience. So much laughing.
1h Kay @kayfro Holy. Fucking. Lightweight. I feel the need to bite someone. If I tip the delivery person extra, I can do that, right?
1h Kay @kayfro Getting drunk for the first time in months on the first day of Lent just feels right. #GoingToHell #SaveYouASeat?
1h Kay @kayfro I would totally order some sort of unhealthy delivery right now, but.... I don't want to have to take this hat off when they get here.
1h Kay @kayfro I will never, EVER post anything online or anywhere with my real name. And fuck ever meeting a #1 Fan. Did you people not see Misery?!
2h Kay @kayfro I just called someone a cuntsicle. I forgot how much I love Drunk Kay.
2h Kay @kayfro I don't Law and Order (any of them) would have lasted nearly as long without the *dun dun*
2h Kay @kayfro Ok, why didn't anyone warn me I'd be wanting Taco Hell BEFORE I took those shots?
2h Kay @kayfro Just caught dog drinking a ton of water. So THIS is what she does to make me get up 3 times a night. Asshole.
2h Kay @kayfro I've decided Roomie is like the runaway bride. Except she drives them away. Do normal girls change so drastically for guys?
2h Kay @kayfro Ok, this is happening. Shots, meet empty stomach.
3h Kay @kayfro I feel cheated. Today's acupuncture doc was not young, not cute and I didn't even have to strip. What a waste of a shave.
4h Kay @kayfro I love you Twitter. When you're here, I never have to drink alone.
4h Kay @kayfro FUCK Electro-Acupuncture. Shit in my back is pissed. There will be excessive drinking starting now.
4h Kay @kayfro I would like to clarify: #myvaginahatessantorum was all @Molly_Kats I just needed you to recognize the awesomeness.
5h Kay @kayfro Even hash-tag haters have to admit this is the best one ever: #myvaginahatessantorum
5h Verifried Drunk™®© @VerifiedDrunk You had me at let’s go and lost me at camping.
Retweeted by Kay
12 Feb Sherry @facciabella Confidence is hot. Put it on. Wear it well. Retweeted by Kay
8h Kay @kayfro 4 days without any cookies, baked goods or yummy carbs of any kind. I don't care that my fibro doesn't hurt, I want a GODDAMNED COOKIE
9h Kay @kayfro I want friends who will let me fake kill them and take pictures damn it! Or, you know, just friends in the same state.